Yesterday I picked up my friend’s kid from school. It had been awhile since I stepped foot in a Chicago Public School and being such a curious creature, I walked the halls and snapped photos of the cute artwork by the pre-schoolers depicting their family life. So adorable… I was a [...]
Archive for the ‘If I Had a Kid’ Category
If I Had a Kid…
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged cute, i love obama biden and mao, If I Had a Kid, propaganda on November 21, 2009 | 3 Comments »
If I Had a Kid…
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged If I Had a Kid, pole dance on September 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
For Christmas, I would buy her a shiny new Pole Dance Doll. Ridiculous and hilarious Pole-dance doll has Mommy Bloggers freaking out (comments on this link are hysterical): http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=46687
If I had a Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged If I Had a Kid, scars on May 17, 2009 | 2 Comments »
She would have scars. Most of the scars on my body occurred before I was twelve from bicycle accidents. Because once upon a time, when the Brady Bunch was not a rerun, kids would ride their bikes without body armor. Back then they didn’t even make bicycle helmets for children. The only people who wore [...]
If I Had a Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged girl, If I Had a Kid on May 5, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
She would be a girl. There are no boys in my family. My mom has three sisters. I have four sisters and four nieces. Not a single boy in sight. Gets me wondering what happened to them?
If I Had a Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged ball sports, If I Had a Kid on April 27, 2009 | 2 Comments »
He would have to be involved in competitive running, swimming or biking because I can’t stand sports and games that involve an oval or round ball. Call me an idiot for having an aversion to ball sports but while I’m sitting in the stands (and I have unwillingly sat in the stands) I just want to [...]
If I Had A Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged If I Had a Kid, rawr i love you dinosaur on April 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
She might wear a “RAWR means “I love you” in Dinosaur” t-shirt, but she would not be wearing shiny bronze boy shorts like in this advertisement. I think this model might be the age of my niece, which would be between eleven and twelve years old. I saw this in the sidebar on my [...]
If I Had a Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged If I Had a Kid, Mt. Tiki Soaker on April 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I might have to grow up. I wouldn’t be able to stay up all night on Friday, sleep in on Saturday. I couldn’t say “fuck” as much as I do. Laundry could not pile to the ceiling. I would have to get out of my pajamas and into real clothes. I wouldn’t be shopping at [...]
If I had a kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid, tagged If I Had a Kid on April 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
She would not be ordering a $7 beverage from Starbucks until she had a job.
If I Had a Kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid on April 17, 2009 | 1 Comment »
She would not use her cell phone to call me from her bedroom and ask me to bring her lunch.
If I had a kid
Posted in If I Had a Kid on April 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
his or her first word would be “fuck”
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